Jason vs. Jason

I can’t do it.

Four movies in and I’ve come to the conclusion that this slasher-film-fest is not going to work. Even Friday the 13th Part IV: The Final Chapter, with its crazy Corey Feldman and its macheted Crispin Glover, could not win me over.

I’ve discovered I really don’t like slasher movies. I like monster movies—preferably monster movies with some semblance of a plot or theme.

I liked Freddy vs. Jason, but I think that may have beeen because both franchises had acquired enough “mythology” in their respective universes to allow for a vaguely interesting plot. Freddy and Jason were both full-fledged supernatural monsters by that point. Also, I grew up a huge fan of Godzilla movies, and the whole “versus” concept seemed like a campy nod to those days.

But these early films…I don’t get the appeal of slasher films. I guess it’s similar to that of movies like Hostel and Saw. I know that there are real-life psychotics out there who murder people in brutal fashion—I don’t get any enjoyment out of seeing it on-screen.

I admit the Friday the 13th films are particularly egregious. Unlike Halloween, which had good direction and a horror-in-suburbia theme, or A Nightmare on Elm Street, which had a more intriguing plot and antagonist, these Friday the 13th films just have a guy in a hockey mask killing people in gory fashion. I found myself wondering why, exactly, Jason kills all these people. After his very first victim, we aren’t given any reason for the rest of his endless murder spree. How about some psychological background at least? Of course, Jason’s very existence is an affront to what is set up in the first film, which at least has the infamous reverse-Psycho twist at the end.

Anyway, I’m sorry, folks. It was a good idea, but I began to crave oblivion before I could even finish the first franchise. I realize these are probably the worst films of the lot, but I just can’t bear the idea of watching hundreds more teenagers get hacked, slashed, strangled, tortured and whatnot.

I think I’m gonna go watch The Monster Squad again.

  1. Ed left a comment on June 22, 2007 at 1:54 pm

    What about switching it up and offering 31 Days of decent horror movies – you could have them cross genres. For example – you just threw The Monster Squad out there. There’s one.

    Maybe come up with a list of 31 horror/supernatural themed flicks that you truly groove on and have it be a month long countdown to your #1.

    And – in conjunction with your reviews you could use the space to drop some little known facts about the flick – or trivia questions about the movie and have a Halloween-themed prize at the end of the month. (ex. Michael Meyer’s mask was actually a Halloween mask of which famous character? a. Han Solo b. Captain Kirk c. Buck Rogers)

    I’d be interested in reading a month of reviews like that. Maybe you could pluck out some obscure flicks that others may not be familiar with. Or – do a point-counterpoint by revieiwng Ringu and it’s Hollywood remake, The Ring. Or the original The Thing (from Another World) and John Carpetner’s remake.

    I know it’s a lot of work but probably more enjoyable than the slasher genre. I’m with you. I’m a big fan of Halloween (the original) but don’t have any use for the other flicks. And the less said about torture porn (Saw, Hostel), the better.

    Speaking of which, I’ve heard some good things about 1408.

  2. I think I’ll play it by ear. I did write reviews of the first two Friday the 13th films, and they were definitely…unique, so I’ll keep those in reserve. But I may want to do something other than review movies anyway…I’m sure there will be a few more in there, though. (And I reviewed The Monster Squad last year.)

    On a related note, I watched Creepshow for the first time the other day. That’s a fun flick.

    And yeah, I want to see 1408. Though I read the short story and I have to say, it didn’t scare me at all. Not nearly as much as It did.

  3. I must say, I’ve never been a Jason/Michael Myers/Mike Myers fan myself, but have you ever seen the Earth Dies Screaming? Old British B&W sci-fi, supposedly it was an influence on Night of the Living Dead. I had been wanting to see it for years, then the first 40 minutes of it were on YouTube the other day. I was liking it until I found the end of the movie wasn’t there…

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