This time last year, I was knee-deep in writing reviews of movies like Spaced Invaders and Deepstar Six, to say nothing of my ill-fated attempt at writing a zombie story (well, not that ill-fated; I did finally finish it about two months ago).
I’m behind this year–having not written anything at all yet–but I’ve got some good ideas, and I should be able to get going this week. In the meantime, in an effort to make sure I can fill every single last day of October, I’m going to take suggestions. A topic you’d like me to discuss, a movie you’d like to see reviewed, perhaps even an idea for a (really) short story–reply below or shoot me an email, and I’ll do my best to grant your wishes.
How about a really creepy story about a guy in his mid-30s who wakes one day to discover something he long suspected – his body has revolted against him.
Where once there was hair, there is none (or at least, a dwindling patch which serves as a mocking reminder of the playboy he once was).
How could this body – one that he has been so protective of and gifted it a life long stream of Gator-Ade and Ho Hos – how could the body he had been so good to for so long, suddenly enact a vicious plan of revenge – taking from him what he prizes most. His hair. And with it go the dreams of the frosted-tip boy band do or the Seventies Shag Carpet that is all the rage these days.
So the man does what any rational man would do when confronted with the insane. He grabs something sharp – shears, let’s say – and goes to town ridding his head of this phantom menace.
And all is well, until one day the man awakes to discover the hair had returned from the dead… and with it, it’s brought friends.
Yup, there’s hair coming out of his nose too!!!
This time it’s personal.
Didn’t Bruce Willis do that in the early ’90s? Oh wait, that wasn’t a movie.
Go classic! This wiki page is a great rundown of all the greats you may or may not have actually seen: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Horror_Movie
Might I recommend either ‘The Innocents’ or Roger Corman’s ‘Bucket of Blood?’ (which isn’t actually on the list, but anyway, it’s neat) Also: if you have never seen ‘Rosemary’s Baby,’ drop what you are doing this INSTANT and go rent it. LOVE LOVE LOVE that movie.
How ’bout this? Go anti-Halloween. 31 Days of Nothing But Chick Flicks Commonly Misconstrued as Horror Movies. Start with Sandy B’s, 28 Days. End with What Women Want.
Oh, and Kate…
So I took your advice, dropped what I was doing a few INSTANTS ago and rented Rosemary’s Baby. I’m all primed to see it when I get this knock on my office door. It’s this coven of creepy little people, you know – HR. Anyway, they hand me a banana crate and the edict that I have 30 minutes to pack my belongings. The shock of losing my job finally takes its toll and I black out. In my dreams, I am confronted by this doughy yet seductive dude who whispers that he wants me to bring upon the End of Days. I wake up and try to recall the event. The faces and events are fuzzy. As I look down, I see I am clutching a satchel containing 16 Nanny Cams, the blueprints to Gillette Stadium and a Thank You note, signed Mangenius.
Strange but true.
You just don’t see much call for banana crates these days.
REVIEW HOSTEL!!!
IT’S YOUR FAVOURITE!!
A day or two of horror toys couldn’t hurt. Oddly, I saw a Hostel figure the other day, completely out of the blue. Think it’s an import or something, I’m not sure, and I didn’t care enough to look into it…my wife and I rent a lot of crappy horror, yet we always seem somehow surprised at the crappiness when we get something like Rest Stop.
There’s a topic: why are horror movie fans so optimistic? Every weekend a new horror flick opens, it does great business all at once, then sinks like a stone. Everyone goes in hoping for the next classic, and it never comes. Hmm.