Da Vinci Code Quest

Well, I just finished the Da Vinci Code Quest on Google. DG and I have been doing it for over a month, but I had to be ready for the last puzzle, because the first 10,000 people to solve it get a free cryptex prop. It’s actually another part of the game, but we care less about that than just getting the prop.

Anyway, for the last puzzle you had to watch a movie on Google Video and then answer some DVC-related questions. I got through the whole thing, including filling out the address form in the end, in about sixty seconds. Hopefully it was enough–I’m not sure when they’ll let us know if we won. Either way, it was a fun little pastime for a few weeks.

New Hellboy videogame info

After more than a year since the initial announcement, Konami has finally released some screenshots and a cinematic trailer for their upcoming Hellboy videogame.

The overall response from fandom seems to be “meh,” but I’m willing to give it the benefit of the doubt. The fighting system sounds interesting. A lot of complaints seem to be about the graphics, but to be honest, while I do have aesthetic appreciation for nice graphics, I’ll take great gameplay over pretty pictures any day. Kind of like how I prefer a decent amount of articulation on my action figures, rather than those plastic statues McFarlane Toys puts out these days.

I also watched the Halo 3 trailer–nice graphics, not much idea what’s going on, but I’m sure it’ll be an awesome game. An Xbox 360 will probably be the only thing on my Christmas wishlist this year.

Batman’s “goof”

I admit it, I have both a very high and very low sense of humor. I can laugh at a joke about Churchill and a “barf-o-rama” on Family Guy. I won’t apologize for that; it’s the way I am.

Thus, I link you to this. The panels are from a real comic book from the 1950s—a more innocent time, when certain words had a different meaning than they do today.

Sunday night cartoons

Last night was quite a night for new Fox cartoons–we got a new Simpsons, Family Guy and American Dad. I remarked to DG that I’m beginning to come around to liking Simpsons a bit more than Family Guy again, if only because Seth MacFarlane &. Co. have become a bit too dependent on cutaways and pop culture references.

I never quite understood the difference that loading up a show with pop culture references made until recently, when I was reading about Spongebob Squarepants and how that show’s appeal to both children and adults lies in its simple (if bizarre) storylines that rely on situation, story, and character for laughs, rather than obvious satire or references to William Shatner singing “Rocket Man.” A show like Fairly Odd Parents, on the other hand, relies heavily on pop culture jokes.

And that’s largely the difference between The Simpsons and Family Guy, though The Simpsons has certainly spread its share of pop culture references over the years. However, even after more than ten years of syndication, The Simpsons isn’t at all dated, whereas the clock is already ticking on the first season or two of Family Guy. Fifty years from now, scholars will be examining The Simpsons to find out about the beliefs and values of 1990s and early twenty-first century America, while Family Guy will probably be fairly oblique to all but the most specialized academics.

That said, the most memorable bit I saw last night was during Family Guy, when Herbert—the elderly pedophile who’s always after Chris—challenges a haunted tree (long story) and battles it in Lord of the Rings-fashion. The best moment is when Herbert is falling down the chasm and grabs his walker in mid-air, just like Gandalf plucking his sword during the beginning of The Two Towers. That’s the sort of thing that keeps me watching the show. And as DG pointed out, the Family Guy skit that got me to laugh the hardest wasn’t a pop culture reference (the “barf-o-rama” in the episode “8 Simple Rules for Buying My Teenage Daughter”). In terms of getting me to laugh out loud, Family Guy is definitely the winner.

One thing that’s surprised me is how American Dad has improved from its first season. Initially I didn’t find it funny at all. In the first few episodes, it was clearly an outlet for MacFarlane’s rage against both the political and cultural conservatism of the country, and that sort of satire just wasn’t working. That’s been toned down in recent episodes and the writers have been letting the characters grow a bit, even throwing in a few good gags here and there. It’s not nearly as reliant upon pop cultural references as Family Guy (perhaps a conscious decision on the producers’ part), which I think helps distinguish it from that show. Oddly, American Dad is more of a show about family function and dysfunction than Family Guy.

Of course, I have to wonder how long Fox will allow three cartoon shows to dominate its Sunday night programming block. All I do know is that DG and I always find something else to do from 8:30-9. Maybe they should bring back Futurama

Speaking of American Dad and Family Guy, this is pretty fun.

You bet I have

Greedo: “I’ve been looking forward to this for a long time.”

Han Solo: “Yes, I’ll bet you have.” BLAM!

This is some of the best news I’ve heard in ages:

“Fans can look forward to a September filled with classic Star Wars nostalgia, led by the premiere of LEGO Star Wars II: The Original Trilogy video game and the long-awaited DVD release of the original theatrical incarnations of the classic Star Wars trilogy.”

You can read the whole article here.

A lot of fans are already pissing and moaning about “giving Lucas even more money,” but as someone who has never bought a single Star Wars movie on DVD, I couldn’t care less about that. I don’t like the Special Editions nor the prequels and have no interest in owning either; however, I will shell out my hard-earned cash for DVDs of the original trilogy. I love those movies and am thoroughly pleased Lucas has finally realized how he can get my money.

Muchos huevos grandes

Before writing this, I looked up the phrase “long time, no blog” and found 190,000 results. At that point one is way beyond cliche, so I’ll skip it. In case you didn’t notice, I added an About Me page a few days ago, for those of you looking for a vaguely disturbing example of me talking to myself.

I’ve consciously been avoiding politics on this blog—for a number of reasons—but I just have to link to Stephen Colbert’s speech at the White House Correspondents’ Dinner. Essentially, Colbert numbers every crime Bush’s administration has been accused of with Bush sitting not five feet away. Of course, it’s all done “in character”—Colbert’s Bill O’Reilly simulacrum that he plays on is show. He also indicts the attending journalists for their complacent attitude toward this administration—which was later highlighted as the AP, Reuters and other organized marginalized Colbert’s speech in their coverage of the dinner while making a big deal of Bush’s goofy skit with an imitator. Unsurprisingly, it’s the blogosphere that’s buzzing over Colbert.

You can also read a transcript of Colbert’s comments here.

Rather than offer a boo or a booyah! to Colbert’s comments, I’ll offer these links. The Washington Post‘s Richard Cohen lambasts Colbert here, while Sydney Blumenthal lauds him here.

I do want to say one thing: Cohen seems to censure Colbert for publicly criticizing Bush when he knows he won’t get “smited” or ” tossed into a dungeon” as he might have in less democratic countries or earlier periods of history. This argument doesn’t make much sense to me. Isn’t that the point of the freedom of speech? To be fair, I think what Cohen’s objecting to is the notion that Colbert did anything brave or noble (that he “spoke truth to power”), but the second part of that implication is, “because he couldn’t be murdered for it.” Well, no, but he could become the subject of editorials by indignant columnists at national newspapers. And let’s not forget what happened to Bill Maher. Colbert was arguably putting his career on the line, and for that, I have to give him the award for “muchos huevos grandes.”

About Me 1

JFCC

Interview with Jason F.C. Clarke
(As conducted by the author with himself)

Let’s start at the top. You are…?
Jason F.C. Clarke.

Right, right. And what do the initials stand for?
Frederick Cassani.

That’s a lot of names for someone who isn’t one of the landed gentry.
I guess so.

Or, like, “the third” or something.
True.

Well, anyway. Where were you born and raised?
I was born in South Weymouth, Mass., and raised in Carver, Mass.

Carver, Mass. Home to lots of cranberry bogs, right?
Yes, it’s often called the cranberry capital of the world.

That’s absolutely fascinating. Is it true you once accidentally shot out the window of a used car in your next-door neighbor’s lot with a BB gun and immediately informed him about it while crying profusely?
Yes…

Is it also true you once threw a fit because your parents were trying to make you share your Bubble-Tape with your sister—Bubble-Tape containing over six feet of gum?
Yes, that’s also true.

And you were like, eleven years old then.
I don’t remember, exactly…

Moving on. What do you do for a living?
I’ve done a number of things. I’ve worked at a library, as an intern for The Atlantic Monthly, as a reporter for a major newspaper syndicate, and as a marketing associate at a major computer game company–

But what do you do for a living right now?
Right now I’m a freelance writer.

So nothing, you mean.
Now wait a second—

That’s a nice photo of you up there.
Thanks.

Where was it taken?
That was taken in Bray, Ireland.

Very nice. When was that?
Summer 2000.

Oh. So that photo is, like, six years old.
Yes…

So, you could be a lot fatter or uglier now. You’re potentially misrepresenting yourself.
No, I more or less still look like that.

“More or less.” Right. Who took that photo?
I don’t think that’s any of your—

Oh, you’re just dying for an excuse to tell this story. I know it because I’m you. Who took that photo?
Oh, very well. While I was on vacation in Dublin, I went to St. Stephen’s Green to read A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man

Oh, how delightfully literary of you.
What?

Nothing. Go on.
Uh, so while I was sitting there, this young woman sat down next to me and noticed the book, and started up a conversation…

So she talked to you first?
Yeah.

Huh.
What?

Nothing.
Okay. Well, she turned out to be a French exchange student, and we ended up hanging out for the next couple of days. She had a car and drove us out to Bray, and she was an amateur photographer, so that’s why she took the photo. She mailed it to me in a letter later that year.

That’s a great story. So getting back to stuff people might care about, where do you live now?
I live in Boston.

Very exciting. And what are you working on?
What do you mean?

You said you’re a writer. What are you working on?
Oh. Stuff…

Such as?
A novel.

A novel! Well that’s exciting. What’s it about?
Um…this guy…

Does this guy have a name?
Eron…

And what happens to Eron?
Stuff…

Uh huh. Clearly you’re on track to the bestseller lists with that one.
Look, I just don’t want to talk about it right now.

You collect action figures. What’s your favorite?
Of all time? The original Grimlock from the Transformers line of the 1980s. My current favorite toy, though, is probably Mezco’s Hellboy figure.

Want to pimp anyone else’s blog while we’re here?
Certainly. Be sure to check out my girlfriend DottyGale’s blog, as well as that of my cousin Ed at the Ed Zone. There’s also the blog of my good friend Kate, who drew the logo for Biggerboat.

Great. Any parting words?
You’re not very nice.

Ecstatic wax

DG and I saw Wicked at the Boston Opera House last night. I’ve yet to read the book, but DG had, and she said the story was quite different and simplified, but true to the themes and spirit. I thought the show was excellent, and was especially impressed by the performance of Julia Murney, who plays Elphaba (a.k.a. the Wicked Witch of the West). I highly recommend it to anyone with a fondness for The Wizard of Oz, musicals, or subtle but effective digs at the current administration.

I’ve been drawn into a discussion of Pearl Jam (the closest thing I have to a favorite band) over on OB1og (how do you pronounce that anyway? “Oh-blog”? “Obb-log”? “Oh-bee-one-ogg?”) and it got me thinking about a recent experience I had.

I went to a party Saturday night (yes—I attended a real social event rather than staying in and watching reruns of Spongebob Squarepants). At the party, the hosts had their iTunes running as background music, and at one point I heard the familiar guitar hook of a rock single I’d been looking for for ages. It turned out to be “Wax Ecstatic” by Sponge from their album of the same name. When I got home I immediately downloaded the song off iTunes and since then I’ve listened to it about a dozen times.

Now, if I’d decided to stay in that night, as I often do, I wouldn’t have heard the song, and thus wouldn’t have derived the later pleasure I’ve had in listening to it. It’s a small, over-simplified example of chaos theory in action. Small differences yield big results (the “butterfly effect”).

The song has also reminded me how commercial rock music just doesn’t seem as good these days as it was during the so-called Grunge Era. I wonder if I’ve already become calcified in my conception of what makes good rock music, as most generations seem to do, and that soon I’ll be sitting on my front porch in shorts and a white tank top, shouting at the neighborhood kids to get off my lawn and spraying them with the garden hose when provoked.

But what I hear on the radio these days just doesn’t seem to have the same depth of creativity and emotion as I remember from that time. The early nineties gave us Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Alice in Chains, the Smashing Pumpkins, the Stone Temple Pilots, Rage Against the Machine, Soundgarden, Mudhoney, Nine Inch Nails, Tori Amos…I miss the days when that sort of music dominated stations like WBCN. Nowadays there are a lot of bands that sound like those artists but lack the same depth. Of course, this is all just my opinion. No doubt there are twenty-year-olds out there listening to their favorite rock stations and thinking, “Man, I miss the days when Limp Bizkit, Slipknot and P.O.D. were all over the radio.”

To that kid I say, “Get the hell offa my lawn!”

Killing the uncle

Okay, so I lied. I didn’t finish “Leoht Unfaeger,” but only after realizing there were fundamental problems with the story as it stood. It was essentially a rewrite of a previous story I’d started using different characters, a technique that always fails for me. My writing style tends to be organic—the entire story comes together in my head and flows onto the page—and trying to cannibalize one story into another one usually makes me feel too detached and removed from the story until I end up hating it. The same thing happens when I edit too much. My stories are best when I write them all in a rush, do an editing pass on them maybe a week later, and then leave them alone.

Also, I became unhappy with the overall concept of “Leoht Unfaeger.” It involved my main characters (namely Eron and Joe) encountering a modern-day Grendel in Denmark. But the conceit of bringing Grendel back to life just didn’t mesh with the world I want to construct for Eron; it was too simplistic and too pulp. Plus, as it stands the entire Eron concept is too much like Hellboy; so it’s back to the drawing board for Eron & company.

However, I do want to keep at it. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about where I want to go with my life, or more specifically my career, and I’ve had a lot of conversations with DottyGale about this. The truth is more that I’ve brought the subject up to DG on countless occasions and she’s sick of it, to the point where she compared me to Hamlet, saying I do all this talking about what I want to do and very little doing. “Kill the damned uncle,” she told me, and suddenly I had my life’s dictum, the phrase I would turn to in moments of indecision, the phrase I would pass down to my children–“Kill the uncle.” Not literally, of course—fortunately, I have no brothers so it won’t be a problem for my kids, unless my wife has a brother, but DG doesn’t, so for now I’m safe—but I don’t want to be seen as advocating avunculicide to anyone, even if one’s uncle secretly kills one’s father and then marries one’s mother (in that situation, don’t resort to vigilantism, but rather report said uncle to the authorities and find another outlet for your anger, such as writing a disturbing one-act play).

Morality of slaying one’s uncle aside, the essence of DG’s bromide is not to spend eternity debating all courses of action before finally making a move. Hamlet couldn’t decide one way or the other on whether to kill his uncle, and when he finally did it was in a moment of near-insanity, so who knows if that was really what he wanted to do. His mother had just died and he’d just learned he’d been poisoned—anyone might stab their uncle in that situation.

Hamlet’s indecisiveness also caused a lot of collateral damage, including the deaths of Gertrude, Polonius, Ophelia and Laertes. (I won’t count Rosencrantz and Guildenstern because Hamlet killed them deliberately, and he might have done so even without the whole setting-him-up-to-be-murdered thing; they were rather irritating, after all.)

My point, if I have one, and I think I did, is this: one needs to get on with it at some point or another. That appears to be the point at which I am now.

On an unrelated note, I found out today that the expression, “If you think X, you’ve got another thing coming” is properly “If you think X, you’ve got another think coming.” Here’s some information. I’m sure it came about because the “k” gradually weakened to a “g” sound over time, but I’m always fascinated by linguistic trivia like that.

Upgrade, with violence

Well, the upgrade to Movabletype 3.2 went far smoother than last time. I sat down to do it yesterday, expecting to spend three or four hours at the computer, but I must have done something wrong before, because it took perhaps ten minutes. The result is a more efficient system and much better spam comment blocking.

I watched A History of Violence yesterday. Like The Road to Perdition, it’s based on a graphic novel, which suggests that graphic novels are beginning to get the same attention as regular novels. The graphic novel market has also been a growing segment of the publication industry, so it seems this “original American art form” may finally be getting its due. That said, I don’t know anyone who’s read the graphic novel of Violence, including me. Regardless, the film is good, and it provoked a few interesting thoughts for me, e.g., what is the price of maintaining the American dream? and can Americans as a whole achieve that dream only at a heavy cost of blood and soul?

I’ve enjoyed updating the blog this frequently, but in an effort to keep myself writing, I’m going to hold off posting again until I’ve finished a first draft of “Leoht Unfaeger.” Fingers crossed that you’ll see another post this year.

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