Blog - Jason F.C. Clarke

An American Werewolf in London

Posted under Blog, Halloween, Movies, Reviews on October 4th, 2006 by JFCC

An American Werewolf in London is one of those cult movies I always meant to see but never did (much like The Rocky Horror Picture Show, which I’ll review later in the month). I knew it by reputation as a darkly comic horror film, perhaps similar to Evil Dead II or Dead Alive.

Not a werewolf

One of the reasons it took me a while to see it was that it was a werewolf movie. I’m not a big fan of werewolves. I understand the appeal of vampires; Frankenstein’s monster is cool; demons, sea monsters, zombies I like. But werewolves seem boring to me. They’re big dogs, essentially. And their gimmick strains even the most flexible imagination: the victim only turns into a werewolf at each full moon? Why? Are werewolves affected by gravitational forces, like the tides? And then there’s the problem of mass conversion. Whether the victim turns into a giant wolf-man or a pure wolf, the weight ratios are going to be different, and that just bugs me; where does the extra mass come from (or go to)?
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Evil Dead Toy

Posted under Articles, Blog, Halloween, Movies on October 3rd, 2006 by JFCC

NOTE: Originally published under the name “Poe Ghostal” on OAFE on 10/1/02. I’ve revised and updated it for this entry.

Ashley Williams The first of the Evil Dead films I saw was?I’m fairly certain?Army of Darkness. At the time, I thought it was one of the greatest things I’d ever seen. Then I saw Evil Dead 2, deservedly called the best of the trilogy. Finally I saw the first film, which is good but hard to take. Now having seen Army of Darkness about 10 million times, I can’t stand to watch it anymore. But Evil Dead 2…now that’s a classic film. I can watch that over and over.

As any Evil Dead fan could tell you, those movies begged for toys once the action figure boom of the mid-’90s made it clear that just about anything could be turned into a toy line. And when McFarlane Toys’ Movie Maniacs line rolled around, it was clear that this was a match made in heaven.
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The Worst Witch

Posted under Blog, Halloween, Movies on October 2nd, 2006 by JFCC

I wish I knew more about the origins of this magnum opus. It is apparently based on a series of kids’ books and yes, it’s very similar to Harry Potter, but The Worst Witch books came out decades ago (HBO later resurrected the concept as a series to cash in on Pottermania). The story centers around Mildred Hubble, the eponymous witch who just can’t seem to do anything right. Hubble is played by Fairuza Balk, who also starred as Dorothy in the very creepy mid-’80s film Return to Oz.

Obey Curry

I was fortunate enough to see The Worst Witch as a kid, so I’m capable of tapping into that childish appreciation in order to survive an annual viewing each Halloween. Still, it’s not easy. If time flies when you’re having fun, then The Worst Witch, which has a running time of 60 minutes, clocks in at about fifteen hours.
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Halloween Month

Posted under Blog, Halloween on October 1st, 2006 by JFCC

As you’ve probably figured out from the site design, this is the surprise I’ve been hinting at for the last few weeks. Be sure to hit “refresh” to see the new logo. Big thanks to Kate Racculia and Emily V. for redesigning the logo.

I love Halloween. It’s second only to Christmas as my favorite holiday, though Christmas gets the edge thanks to its quality family time. But in terms of pure holiday celebratory cheesiness, Halloween probably surpasses Christmas—and this from the guy who created The Snow Miser’s Cooler.

To celebrate Halloween this year, I’m going to be posting a Halloween-themed blog entry every day this month. That’s thirty-one days of beastly Biggerboat badness. These will include holiday memoirs, reviews of movies, books and toys, and perhaps even a short story or two—and, in a relative rarity for Biggerboat, lots of pictures.

Of course, occasionally I may cheat a little, and today is one of those times, as this post counts for today. Tune in tomorrow for the first real post, a review of the Tim Curry opus The Worst Witch.

Zombies rule

Posted under Blog, Zombies on September 28th, 2006 by JFCC

I wish I had an Xbox 360. And Dead Rising.

Alternatively, I wish I’d never gone to my cousin Mike’s and played Dead Rising, because now I know what I’m missing.

Yaz

Posted under Blog on September 21st, 2006 by JFCC

Does anyone else find themselves thinking of a certain baseball player while watching that ad for “Yaz”? (I’d link to it on YouTube, but the only full version up there has been edited and vandalized.) If you think of him instead of the med whenever they say the word, the ad becomes hilarious.

Even with the name of the medication aside, the ad is still funny. Clearly that woman has trouble leaving her work at the office.

If you are Vin Diesel, yell really loud

Posted under Blog on September 20th, 2006 by JFCC

Again, apologies for my extended absence. My only consolation is that everyone else in my Sphere of Influence over there seems to be busy too.

Rest assured I’m hard at work on That Thing I Can’t Talk About Yet.

In the meantime, enjoy one of my favorite websites: funny emergency signs.

He-Man (2002) action figure

Posted under Blog, Reviews, Toys on September 13th, 2006 by JFCC

NOTE: Originally published under the name “Poe Ghostal” on OAFE on 8/5/02.

buy the power of Grayskull! He-Man and the Heroic Masters of the Universe must save Eternia from the clutches of the sinister Skeletor and his Evil Horde…

A headstrong teenager with a nose for trouble stumbles upon an ancient stone castle deep in the Eternia Forest. There he meets a beautiful sorceress who gives him a magical weapon, the Power Sword, and tells him that only he can save Eternia from the Evil Skeletor. By raising the sword above his head, he transforms into He-Man, the Most Powerful Man in the Universe! Together with his heroic companions, the Masters of the Universe, He-Man takes on Skeletor and the Evil Horde in the battle for all Eternia!
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Wolverine (brown costume)

Posted under Blog, Comics, Reviews, Toys on September 6th, 2006 by JFCC

NOTE: Originally published under the name “Poe Ghostal” on OAFE on 10/5/04.

I can trace my awareness of the X-Men comics—and by extension, the mutant superhero called Wolverine—to its original source: an advertisement in the back of a comic book. The ad featured a “cool” kid—you knew he was cool because he was wearing a denim jacket and sunglasses—holding some X-Men trading cards, I believe. Far more effective than the kid himself was the tagline above him: “It’s a good bet the kid’s favorite MUTANTS ain’t TURTLES.”

bring it on

Now, at the time, I was a hardcore acolyte of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles fad. However, I was also dimly aware that the Turtles—with their cartoony, anthropomorphic toy line and surfer-lite catchphrases—were perhaps targeted toward an audience that was a bit younger than I was at the time.

Thus, this sunglasses-wearing kid threatened me. The ad tapped the core of my adolescent insecurity—dear God, was I worshipping the wrong mutants? While I would say advertisements have never worked particularly well on me (the only thing ads have ever done for me is made me aware of when things I might want, such as new action figures or films, will be available), this one, I have to admit, succeeded in spectacular fashion.
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Wake me up when September ends

Posted under Blog on September 5th, 2006 by JFCC

I’ll be going a little light on entries this month. Fear not—there’s a very good reason for this, which will be revealed when the time comes. In the meantime, I’ll be recycling some old content, including transferring some of my more memoir-heavy reviews from OAFE, and maybe some other old stuff I can dig up.

By now I’m sure everyone’s heard about Steve Irwin. Very sad, and a tough way to go. The man was brave and maybe a little crazy, but he did a lot for wildlife education and conservation and he will be missed. I offer my heartfelt condolences to his wife and children.

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