Apologies for the lack of updates, but there’s just not much to report lately.

DG is at a conference in San Diego this week, so I’ve had the apartment to myself. That means I get a whole week of the apartment relatively clean and uncluttered, the way I like it.

This week has confirmed for me that I am not the primary source of our apartment’s constant state of clutter. I have no doubt within a day of my beloved’s return there will be opened mail, knitting patterns, and half-empty bottles of Pepsi covering every square inch of the coffee table. And the thing about a coffee table is that it sets the tone for the whole apartment. It really ties the room together, y’know? So if the coffee table is a wreck, the living room looks like a wreck, and by extension, I’m a wreck. I am a wreck, of course, but I’d prefer new acquaintances discovered that on their own in due time, rather than getting a misleading, if accurate, picture upon viewing our coffee table.

But I kid my wonderful, forgiving girlfriend. Her tendency toward clutter is cute. And she’s a lot better than I am about the dishes, which are arguably much higher on the housecleaning pyramid, and have a greater potential to cause typhoid fever.

And to be fair, my method of making everything look neat and uncluttered is to cram everything into whatever available space I can find—usually a closet, cabinet, or under the bed. Growing up I had the attic—wonderful attic!—at my parents’ house, where I slowly accumulated such a mass of junk that I now have complete control over an entire loft. At least it kept my room clean. Our current apartment, unfortunately, has very little storage space, so this past weekend I was forced to drive home to my parents’ house to cram more junk into the attic. I suppose I won’t need my Halloween-themed action figures or my plastic icon of Talos from Jason and the Argonauts anytime soon.

Other than the cleaning, I’ve found having the apartment to myself pretty boring. I’m eagerly awaiting the hoped-for arrival of an Xbox 360 this Christmas/birthday, but in the meantime my Xbox and its games have lost their luster. Poor Xbox! I got you a mere three years ago, and now your name is mud. I intend to trade you in to the nearest EB for cash credit as soon as the 360 is hooked up. But we had some good times, didn’t we, old Xbox? We played through Halo and Halo 2 what, thirty times? And of course there were the many hours of Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Simpsons: Hit ‘n Run. But now the call of Gears of War and Sneak King are just too strong.

Last night, I actually turned off both the computer and the television by nine. Suddenly I found myself not being entertained. I tried reading a book, but that didn’t appeal, so instead I just sort of sat around being bored. Eventually I caved and turned on Halo 2, but for a while there I was able to think clearly and rationally. It was a scary experience and I don’t intend to repeat it anytime soon.

In other news…I got fitted for glasses last week. I haven’t worn glasses for any length of time in about ten years, but now my contacts are starting to give me problems, so I need to give my eyes a rest once in a while. I had planned on just picking out a pair, but my parents wisely pointed out that it would a profoundly stupid move to do so without input from DG. And so I found myself at the eyeglass department of Sam’s Club, taking cell phone photos of myself and sending them to DG in San Diego, then waiting for her response.

DG is quite skeptical of the whole enterprise, raising the question of whether I’ll be worth keeping around once I’m a nerdy four-eyes. I think the glasses make me look kind of respectable. You can judge for yourself by the foggy cell phone photo below. By the way, does anyone know why my cell phone photos always look like the lens was coated in Vaseline?

So, yeah, not much to report.

“Fifty cents off bulk creamed corn? Awesome!”
  1. Jess left a comment on December 13, 2006 at 2:04 pm

    I am going to assume that you sent this to me so that I would read it… some of these comments could get you in some trouble with DG, however, the closet/attic comment will save you! The glasses are cool… see you soon.

  2. That pic just smacks of One Hour Photo to me. Now, I’m not comparing you to a psycho Robin Williams – but the harsh white light (which that flick captured so well) just brought flashbacks. Incidentally, the specs are very cool. I’ll go so far as to say chic. (Damn – how do you apply an accent in these Comments?)

    Regarding the X-Box, when you make the trade make sure you time it right. At least once a month, EBGames and Gamestop (who are the same company) hold a deal where they apply an extra $20 to the Trade In value of systems. I get their newsletter so I’ll keep you posted when it comes around again. Might as well squeeze every dollar from them as it’s criminal what they’ll give you for a system these days. Sean ended up keeping his and through Windows Media Extender he uses it as his DVR.

    As for DG, I am shocked and appalled that she is the source of the apartment clutter. You think you know someone?!?!? Now – when are you going to invite me over so I can see the clutter with my own two eyes?

    BTW Loved the Lebowski reference.

    “Man, that rug just tied the room together, ya’ know.”

  3. Kate left a comment on December 14, 2006 at 10:11 am

    Ve beleef in nuthink, Lebovski!

  4. Hey, careful, man, there’s a beverage here!

  5. Kate left a comment on December 14, 2006 at 2:22 pm

    He treats objects like women!

  6. Yes yes, we’ve all seen The Big Lebowski. Don’t make me regret my reference…

  7. Mostly because all cameras on phones are garbage, but also because they have a hard time dealing with any kind of bright light…

    “He peed on the Dude’s rug.”

  8. “Let me explain something to you. Um, I am not “Mr. Lebowski”. You’re Mr. Lebowski. I’m the Dude. So that’s what you call me. You know, that or, uh, His Dudeness, or uh, Duder, or El Duderino if you’re not into the whole brevity thing.”

  9. Mollie left a comment on December 15, 2006 at 1:47 am

    I like the glasses Jasonian! However, the main point of this is that I am concerned that we are in fact running in parallel lines. I too was abandoned for the week and left to fend for myself in the apartment (though the opposite source of clutter was confirmed for me). I too was bored silly and tried to turn off the tv and the computer to read a book and became instantly insane. I too need new glasses because my contact lenses irritate my eyes these days; I blame the smog and the computadora. My mobile also takes vaseline coated photos.

    Would you quit being my six foot tall male doppleganger, please?

    p.s. I’m coming to the States for les holidays, and so our paths shall cross. Will email.

  10. Great to see you here, Molls! DG and I will be in LA from the 22nd to the 28th, but if you’re here before or after that, we can definitely meet up.

    As for me being your doppelganger…that’s just creepy, really.

    BTW, everyone got the joke of this post’s title, right?

  11. Of course we did.

    Four Upside-Down Exclamation Points.


  12. RDRR, Bart!

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