what the hell is going on?!

Obviously I stayed home today. DG isn’t here. She didn’t come back from work last night. I didn’t think anything of it at first…sometimes she works late. But when she wasn’t here this morning I tried to call her lab, but the phone lines are jammed of course. I panicked for about an hour, thought about getting in my car, but one look outside…now I just feel kind of numb.

It feels sort of surreal, sitting here writing a blog entry with all that’s going on…and wondering how long anyone will even be able to read this. How long will the electricity stay on? How long can people like me hide in their apartments and hope this thing blows over?

I’ve been scared before—I was a wreck during September 11. I spent that day, and many days after it, watching the news constantly, surfing the Web for as much information as I could find. I remember how creepy it was to see those crazy second-by-second updates on CNN.com, the way CNN.com kept crashing. And now it’s happening again.

It kind of reminds me of The Stand. That novel scared the hell out of me. The idea of a superflu—it really wasn’t that far-fetched. Well, clearly. Not that this is a flu. The flu doesn’t make people…eat people.

The TV’s out except for WLVI 56, who are still broadcasting from their news station. I remember back when they used to have the Creature Double Feature in the ’80s. I wish they’d never canceled that…what the hell am I saying? I think I’m in shock.

Anyway, they had some fat bearded guy on, a scientist I guess, who said “every dead body that is not exterminated, becomes one of them. It gets up and kills. The people it kills get up and kill!” Thanks for the tip, fatty. Most of us already figured that out.

I guess it started a couple days ago, somewhere in Russia I heard. But it’s spread like wildfire, literally. Kind of funny, coming after that TB scare with that guy who ran off to Europe to get married. You’d think they would have been on high alert or something, or at least had this kind of thing on their minds. I mean, what the hell?!

God, there’s a bunch of them walking up Dighton right now. What I wouldn’t give for one of those assholes who always rips up the street in a pick-up. Mow those things down.

I might post again, if the power’s still on. And if they haven’t…I’m in a basement floor apartment, strong windows, strong doors. I can probably hold out for a while. But DG isn’t here. I want to go find her. I wonder how my family is doing.

I wonder where DG is.

  1. j_stone_ left a comment on June 13, 2007 at 9:55 am

    I don’t know dude. I saw ’em earlier this morning. No clue what’s going on.

    I’m just trying to keep my co-workers from doing something stupid. I can’t get a hold of anyone on the phone.

    At least you’ve got a TV. I’ll leave G-chat up. Let me know if you learn anything helpful.

  2. Ryan left a comment on June 13, 2007 at 11:22 am

    You know, I read the first couple of paragraphs and had the shit scared out of me, then quickly looked up CNN and news.com.au before I realised that this was a joke. Good work!

  3. Listen man – get all the food, water, and if you can’t get a damn gun a small pick axe might do (you cash them in the brains with it) and hole up somewhere. They will rot, but it takes time. Only the recently deceased can ambulate. Good luck. My parents saw this kinda thing back in the sixties here in Western Pennsylvania. We can beat them – I heard on short wave there’s already hunting parties out around here taking out these chowder heads. Hope where you’re at allows red necks to own guns.

  4. Don’t worry – help is on the way.

    If you can hold out until Friday June 15th – say 11:00 a.m. or so – Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer opens wide at which point they’ll head en masse to the nearest multiplex like the sheep they are. It doesn’t matter that it looks as weak as the first, the blind sheep will line up to fill the coffers, just like they did the first time. How ironic that the same so-called ‘people’ who now chant ‘BRAINSSSSSS’ as they march will be the very same group checking theirs at the door. Once they’re all in, seated and deep under the trance of ‘The Twenty’ we’ll fly up and nuke the site from orbit. It’s the only way to be sure.

    Yup, cookie cutter cinema by committee will save us all.

  5. It looks like the five boroughs are completely overrun. I’ve been holed up on my roof for the last few hours, and I can see fires sprouting up all over Bay Ridge, Red Hook, and Staten Island. 1010wins stopped broadcasting a little while ago and switched over to recorded EBS telling everyone to stay indoors.

    I’ve seen some army copters, so someone is on the case. I’m sure the worst of it is over.

    Be strong


  6. I think now would be a good time to read my advice on siege tactics….

  7. Mumma left a comment on June 13, 2007 at 4:18 pm

    I’ve taken the pugs and driving until I run out of gas.Lucky,I filled up yesterday, so I should be able to get to the mountains.The pugs love the mountains.

    You guys are on your own.

  8. Ronster: Shar? (Pause) Sharon? (Pause) SHAAAAAA-RONNNNNNNN???

    Ronster: Geez, where is she?

    Ronster: Oh, there’s a note.

    “I’ve taken the pugs and driving until I run out of gas.Lucky,I filled up yesterday, so I should be able to get to the mountains.The pugs love the mountains.

    You guys are on your own.”

    Ronster: ON MY OWN!!!! Wha – wha – what am I gonna’ do? Whose gonna’ make my lunch? Whose gonna’ cut the crust off of my sam-iches, just the way I like it?

    Ronster: I’m Doomed. DOOOOOOOOOO-MEDDDDDDDDD!!!!

    Ronster: (whimpering) I haven’t felt this sad since that time I took in The Horse Whisperer and some rude audience members whinnied their way through the entire screening.

    Ronster: Ohhhh, I’m sooooo hungry and haven’t quite mastered the fine art of food preparation.

    Ronster: Ohhhh, what will I ever do? What will I eat?

    (off in the distance, the faint cry of ‘brainnnnssssss’ begins to grow louder.)

    Ronster: Soooo, very hungry. I knew I should have stopped at Roy Rogers on the way back from Hartford.

    (still louder – ‘brainnnnSSSSSS’)

    Ronster: Oh god, they’re getting closer.

    (footsteps rise – a cacophony of defeated voices drone on – ‘BRAINNNNSSSS’)

    Ronster: Brains, huh? (stomach gurgling) Well, like they always say, if you can’t beat ’em, join ’em.

    (Ronster throws open the front door and offers the assembled masses of undead the same greeting that got him tossed from Town Council so many years back.)


  9. Mumma left a comment on June 13, 2007 at 10:03 pm

    Made it up to NH…strangely quiet up here, a little cooler than at home…but oddly quiet. I can see some fires off in the distance, heading towards North Conway. I’m going to hunker down with the dogs in the farmhouse, there doesn’t seem to be anyone here.

    The dogs are going nuts….must be a raccoon in the attic…

  10. Mumma left a comment on June 14, 2007 at 3:55 pm

    Some really raggedy-looking mountain rat came by today and wordlessly handed me a piece of paper that only said BLITEOTW, acted like it should mean something to me. It doesn’t, but there’s no TP in the farmhouse so I might need it after all.

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