Jason F.C. Clarke

As you have all no doubt figured out by now, the two posts I put up yesterday were gags, part of Blog Like It’s the End of the World, an event organized by blogger Steve Wilson. The idea was to write your blog as if a zombie uprising had actually occurred, Dawn of the Dead-style.

Hundreds, maybe even thousands of bloggers participated, with all sorts of different approaches to the task. I tried to work pretty straightforward, imagining the situation as realistically as possible—if I were actually able to post a blog about something like that, what would I write? How would I really behave during a zombie uprising? Judging from the number of friends who told me they freaked out upon reading the first few paragraphs of my post, it seems I was successful. For all of you who got a little scare, like those folks who heard Orson Welles’s famous War of the Worlds radio broadcast…you’re welcome.

Some of the other Sphere of Influencers participated in BLITEOTW. Most notable is the Jersey Exile, who ended up blogging nearly 6,000 words by the end. His entries read almost like a work of fiction, a Lovecraftian journal chronicling the hideous events.

Stone also pretended he was being swarmed in Watertown. And Robin took a slightly different tack, pointing out the similarities between zombies and burned-out college students.

I’d like to thank all the people who commented—you guys were great. Oh, and DG is fine, by the way. She actually stayed home sick yesterday while I went to work.

Wilson says he plans to hold the event again next year on June 13 (perhaps with a different threat—aliens maybe), so those of you who didn’t participate this time around can sharpen up your shotguns and load your chainsaws.

BRAAAAAINNNSSS!!!

I just saw someone get eaten.

It was a woman, young, maybe a college student. She was running up Dighton, and she was outpacing a few of them down the street, easy. The things are slow. I went to open the window, call out to her and tell her she could hole up in here, when I saw one of them lurch out from behind a parked car. I couldn’t see the damned thing from my angle.

She struggled for a second but it had already bitten into her arm. She tore at it, trying to get away, but another one of the things had already come around the corner. It…they kept biting her…and then the others caught up–she screamed for minutes, MINUTES, she wouldn’t stop screaming, and then finally she did, and then there was just that wet smacking sound…I shut the window…

No word from DG. Or my family. Email seems to be down, but the damned Internet is still working somehow. How does that make any sense? There seems to be more of them roving around out there. I might have been able to make my car before, but not now. Not after what I just saw.

The TV’s not broadcasting anymore, and I turned the radio off. No one seemed to be getting news reports anymore anyway. And they had nothing useful to say–no one seems to know anything. There was a report, don’t know how reliable it is, that the outbreak started in Louisville (the American outbreak, that is) and the government nuked the city off the map. Could it be true? I guess I could believe anything now.

I thought about going into the hallway and knocking on a few doors, see if anyone else is holed up, but I’m too freaked out…who knows, people might be sitting in front of their doors with shotguns and itchy trigger fingers. Too dangerous right now. I think I’m going to take stock of the food. The power’s going to go out eventually, I need to eat some of the cold foods now while I still can.

I wonder where DG is.

Obviously I stayed home today. DG isn’t here. She didn’t come back from work last night. I didn’t think anything of it at first…sometimes she works late. But when she wasn’t here this morning I tried to call her lab, but the phone lines are jammed of course. I panicked for about an hour, thought about getting in my car, but one look outside…now I just feel kind of numb.

It feels sort of surreal, sitting here writing a blog entry with all that’s going on…and wondering how long anyone will even be able to read this. How long will the electricity stay on? How long can people like me hide in their apartments and hope this thing blows over?

I’ve been scared before—I was a wreck during September 11. I spent that day, and many days after it, watching the news constantly, surfing the Web for as much information as I could find. I remember how creepy it was to see those crazy second-by-second updates on CNN.com, the way CNN.com kept crashing. And now it’s happening again.

It kind of reminds me of The Stand. That novel scared the hell out of me. The idea of a superflu—it really wasn’t that far-fetched. Well, clearly. Not that this is a flu. The flu doesn’t make people…eat people.

The TV’s out except for WLVI 56, who are still broadcasting from their news station. I remember back when they used to have the Creature Double Feature in the ’80s. I wish they’d never canceled that…what the hell am I saying? I think I’m in shock.

Anyway, they had some fat bearded guy on, a scientist I guess, who said “every dead body that is not exterminated, becomes one of them. It gets up and kills. The people it kills get up and kill!” Thanks for the tip, fatty. Most of us already figured that out.

I guess it started a couple days ago, somewhere in Russia I heard. But it’s spread like wildfire, literally. Kind of funny, coming after that TB scare with that guy who ran off to Europe to get married. You’d think they would have been on high alert or something, or at least had this kind of thing on their minds. I mean, what the hell?!

God, there’s a bunch of them walking up Dighton right now. What I wouldn’t give for one of those assholes who always rips up the street in a pick-up. Mow those things down.

I might post again, if the power’s still on. And if they haven’t…I’m in a basement floor apartment, strong windows, strong doors. I can probably hold out for a while. But DG isn’t here. I want to go find her. I wonder how my family is doing.

I wonder where DG is.

I wish I had an Xbox 360. And Dead Rising.

Alternatively, I wish I’d never gone to my cousin Mike’s and played Dead Rising, because now I know what I’m missing.